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How I Remind Myself to Stop Wanting Someone Else’s Life.

not wanting someone else's life

I’m sure we’ve all experienced some sort of comparison in our life, especially being pulled by the media which makes it harder not being stuck in it. I know this feeling can be a destructive possession where sometimes it leads us imagining someone else’s life, wanting what they had and end up losing track of our life. Dealing with it can be hard, but I’m sure we all have the ability to take control of our mindsets.

DON’T BE SOMEONE WHO IS NOT YOU

We will never be that other person as everyone is different enough to be who you are, just don’t let it ruin your days thinking like someone else. Being yourself is the best thing you can do in life. If you are not capable of doing that, you will end up forgetting your potentials. Always embrace all of your perfects and imperfections as a gift to make you unique.

I realize how much such emotion plays a big part in our life and sometimes things can be as simple as it is but we overcomplicated it to a point of disappointment with ourselves. Most of the time we deny the good things that happened and constantly worrying about the outcomes.

THEIR LIVES NOT ALWAYS BASED ON PICTURES

As I mentioned before, media is playing a big role in our society. We all see these amazing photos everywhere and counting the happiness in it. But the truth is who wants to show a picture of themselves crying right? I think we all don’t. If a great picture is worth to share why not show it to the world. That’s how the media rolls, showing the perfectly staged photo and here we are judging what we see. But the truth is, what happened in their lives and emotions that they had is not stated behind it. It’s better to prioritize yourselves more than focusing too much on others. Take the media as a place to gain inspirations rather than get caught up in the mind of wanting to change position with someone.

REMEMBER YOUR VALUES

Back in college, I had a friend who is very talented but being envies made him refuse any words of encouragement. Most of the time he would look down on himself and beat his mind into creating an image of someone else that he thought was true about him and described it as the “Untalented One”.He compared himself with others who he believes much talented than him. He used to say “you are not in my shoes and to have this feeling like I did, you will never understand.”

I know how hard we can towards ourselves sometimes, but don’t ignore your own value as it’s something not worth to have. As they said, life is too short, stop being grumpy about it rather, take it easy and be grateful for what you had. I believe any talent can be built upon practice and everyone has a quirk that makes each of us special.

STOP, STOP, JUST STOP

Over the past years, consciously get caught up by this behavior of comparison is something that I’m guilty of. Because it leads me into becoming someone who is too guarded with myself and letting anger to take control. I start questioning about my being and feel not enough with what I had. To think back, how scary this attitude was, it’s actually eating away my time and health slowly without realizing it. Sometimes deep down we know who we are but admitting our true self can be hard as our ego of accepting it make us a liar to ourselves. Stop anchoring yourself from it, be genuine and confidence in all of your aspects. 

LOVE YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

I always remind myself to acknowledge my flaws because I believe from weaknesses we can find strengths within us. There’s no one in this world is perfect, being tied to your weakness is just an excuse to be who you wanted to be. I know now and then I still fall into the trap of comparing, but I take it as a challenge for me to improve myself and learn to be acceptance of whom I am. Because most of the time I need to help myself and sometimes relying on others can lead to sadness especially when you didn’t get the help that you need. 

BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE

To be honest, it’s not easy to properly contain the unsatisfied feeling of wanting more than what I had. But now I started to learn how to let go of things that are not necessary for myself and be grateful for what is actually there. Because I know others might not get the privilege to have it as there’s a lot of people who go through much harder things in life and struggling to live. It’s worth to keep what’s valuable for you, of course not just belongings but things like emotions and feeling too because it helps you to think more openly without being too complex.

A NOTE TO MYSELF

Remind your heart into believing what you actually capable of. You never know how much appreciation actually there is even every small thing that happened. Do what makes you feel happy and ignore the bad thoughts that stop you from doing it. Envy and comparison are just playing an act in our life. If it’s bringing negativity to you then it’s a sign that you need to change your way of thinking. Of course, it’s not something that can effortlessly get rid of, but I believe you can decide how to think about it. If you only collect the negativity, no doubt it will limit yourself from taking the positivity. Always remind yourself of who you are and take advantage of it. Take your time to find what you’ve been searching for in life and realize that actually, YOU are enough.

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Maria

Love it. Too bad how often we need these reminders to love ourself. 😘

Andrea Chen

Aww I love this post Lala. I once heard, there’s always going to be someone doing better and worse- but no one will ever be YOU and that is incredibly special. You have a beautiful blog layout here and I hope you keep writing!

Aditi sinha

Seems like after reading this I ll not compare my life with others life … Grt words❤ …. Loved it ❤❤