Today is January 20, 2020! It’s the triple 20-20-20! So today, I decided to do a self-introduction and write twenty things about me just to celebrate 2020! Since I never properly done one, so I thought today will be a good start. But I warn you, this will be a long read! So prepare yourself and enjoy reading.
1. I have a problem with food. I don’t have a big stomach, but I can’t seem to stop eating.
Growing up being the youngest in my family, my mom knows how much I love eating and usually in big portions too. Except when I need to go on a diet after gaining too much from the regret eating. However, the problem with me has always been fancy the portions over anything else. So if the price is expensive, one thing I would ask, is the portion big? If not then my cheapskate personality will make it a pass. I suppose I’m a big eater.
I’m glad for not being a picky eater apart from the bitter gourd(not if it’s fried though). I can chomp anything offered to me without a problem. From snacks to a full meal, I will gladly take them. I still struck by my friend’s word when she said “I will never trust your food recommendation. Everything you eat, you will say delicious. Have you ever said not delicious?” So what is not delicious then? hmmm…
That’s why I hope to go all over the world to look for the best food and collect memories of them!
2. I have a very serious sweet tooth. Bring me to any dessert place and I can help you to finish up the leftover. But just a reminder, I would be happier if it’s caramel-flavored!
When it comes to food in general, not only being a big eater, I have always been in love with sweet things. And to be precise, caramels! For a long time, my family knows I would be the most cheerful child if I can devour my favorite frozen yogurt with caramel sauce all over it (obsessed since the last two years ago). llao llao is my top one favorite now. But other than that, I’m down for anything sweets from snacks to dessert. That’s why going to cafes or coffee shops is one of my favorite things to do. To look for their desserts and fill up those sweet craving.
Now that you know how I love everything when it comes to eats, so don’t lure me with food, please…I can’t resist.
3. I have two siblings. And a fun fact about our age, I’m 24, sister 25, brother 26.
This is the most interesting topic I get asked a lot. “Wow, how does your mom planned that well?”. The secret is to plan very well. When my mom gave birth to my brother in her late twenties, it was difficult to have another baby especially with high blood pressure, it’s too much risk for her health. But since she still hoped for not only one, my sister popped out followed by me a year later.
Right after me, the doctor warned her about the risks again and now I’m the youngest one in the family. She told me if her health was okay, having a fourth child will not be a problem and she will gladly take them with open arms. But I guess that’s how God planned for our family and she already feels blessed enough with her three musketeers.
I once told my mom how I wish to have another baby sister or brother and with a replied, “Are you crazy? Do you want me to get sick? I’m too old, wait until you have your own!” To think back that phrase, it was funny and I even giggle while writing this.
4. I have Trypophobia and even the traffic light distracts me. You know, the clustered holes or bumps. It’s like a hundred eyes staring at you.
It was after I finished high school, my family decided to move to the big city as we need to proceed with college. After a few months there, my skin starts to feel itchy and there were red dots all over my body. At first, I thought it was just a bed bug or my skin still haven’t accustomed to the new place, so I ignore them. But after a short period, my skin started to get worse and the red dots getting bigger with different shapes too. My body was full of big round patches with many small blisters in each of them. And that’s the start of my Trypophobia.
After looking for solutions, my mom decided to bring me to the dermatologist and found out I have eczema. If you never heard of it, eczema is a condition where patches of skin become inflamed, itchy, red, cracked, and rough. Sometimes blisters may occur too.
It took me a year and a half to heal properly with everyday lotions by mom’s helped since I was so horrified to touch them. I remember hating shower time because I will feel them and I need to force myself to stop staring at them coincidentally(it’s the small watery dots looking like hundreds of eyes saying hello to me!). At that moment, I had it worst. I don’t even dare to wear shorts, but long shirts and pants every day. Even though the doctor advised me to not cover them, but I was ashamed to show my skin.
But now that those days have passed, I’m happy with my skin now. Of course, it does flare-up sometimes but I’m glad it’s not as severe as before.
5. I wish I can drink coffee, again.
When I was younger, I remember how my mom will prepare a jug of coffee for the family. It’s a routine every Saturday because it’s also the time where we will go to my grandfather’s house and spend the rest of the day there. Sometimes they will buy crackers or biscuits to go along with the coffee. My favorite has always been the unflavored white biscuit that tastes so delicious after a dip in the coffee.
However, after moving to the city, I started to drink less coffee and slowly after years, I stopped them. I don’t fancy drinking them any more. Even in the cafes, I will skip the coffee and opt for non-strong caffeine drinks instead. Green tea, or just normal ice blend to quench my thirst. But last year I decided to give them a go, and I realize my stomach can’t take them anymore. I will feel nauseous and dizzy after awhile. Even though I’ve tried two to three times, it ended up the same result. I guess my body wasn’t accustomed to the strong caffeine anymore
But since before, I always love the smell of a coffee shop. It calms me and allows me to finish my work very efficiently. Maybe I will try to take them a little at a time and see how it goes.
6. I’m an introvert. But mild one as what the test showed me.
When I told people I’m an introvert, they don’t believe me. And honestly, I don’t either. Not until I realize I was a person who prefers to stay at home and enjoy the solitudes. Sometimes you will see me sit in the park or a cafe alone and writes to heal my thoughts. But usually, people describe my personality as an extrovert. I’m quite playful and I admit of having a loud voice that can resonate within the room, so they are probably correct.
However, I found out being alone recharged my energy. Sometimes I skip the invitations from others just to have more time to myself and avoid distractions from the outside world. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I locked myself all the time or I literally hate people, but I thought my day off would be better to spend slow time with things I love. I guess since I started working I realize how less time I spent for myself and that’s why I become an introvert creature.
7. I love cafes. And a lot!
Number seven will be also my discovering of being an introvert. Apart from home, this year I’ve been spending a lot of my time in a cafe to write or study. While food and calm are one of my many favorite things, looking for a cafe is what I do for relaxing.
Just being inside a cafe feels like the time slows down and I have the freedom to do anything I want. I can escape the distractions and be in my own small world. Also, I will mention again, the smell of coffee, when I entered the cafe, is just wonderful. That’s why I love to explore cafes and find a new comfortable spot for me and stay there for the entire day.
I have a few favorite picks in town. I might write about them in my future blog posts.
8. I love cats, but I hope to own a dog more.
I’ve been living with cats for my entire life. Right now I own eight cats. I used to have more, but last year seven kittens died because of the feline parvovirus. It’s a type of viral disease that is highly contagious and life-threatening for the cat. We send them to the vet but they said, once the virus spreads, there will be no cure at all. So day by day, my cats decreased. It’s very sad and to see them suffer was just unbearable.
Anyway, let’s talk about dog now. I always wanted to have a German Shepherd, I thought it would be nice to have a dog companion if I go for a jog. But since I live in an apartment, they won’t allow it. As for right now, I can only dream about them.
When I was younger, I remember there was this cute small dog always came to my house. It’s not a breed dog, but just a normal stray dog wander around my place. Every afternoon, I would drop some food for him. At first, he wasn’t so fond of me, but slowly he approaches me and let me pat him. He was a cheerful little dog, and he loves waving his tail when I fed him. When I read on the stair, he will sleep on my lap peacefully.
But the memories last only for a few months before he was poisoned and died. I remember how he looked at me with sad eyes and I can’t do anything to help him. I watch him day by day, he vomited a lot with bloody stool and his tooth fell off. He went through that suffering for quite a while until he sleeps to rest forever. Just remember it right now makes my heartbreak. I wish I can have a dog in my home next time.
9. I’m was raised in a multiracial family.
Growing up in Sabah, it’s pretty common to have a multiracial family especially being a Sino. And I’m lucky to be one of them. My grandfather is a Chinese and grandmother is native. Although everyone said I supposed to know how to speak my native language, I’m more fluent to speak Malay and Chinese. As for Chinese, it’s not on the professional level yet and I only went to a Chinese School until the age of twelve. But it was understandable and I can get away with basic conversations.
Other than that, our family also consists of mixed religions like Christian, Buddhist and Muslim too. And another good thing is, every gathering we eat together in one table. We never had conflicts with the differences and even celebrate almost all festive from Chinese New Year to Christmas.
I guess Malaysia, in general, is a multiracial country and that’s why everyone is open about things like this. It’s pretty rare racism happened especially in Sabah.
By the way, if you never heard of Sabah before, it’s located on a small island in Borneo. A chill place and suitable for people to find peace. There are many places to relax and food here is yummy! I would love to write more about them here next time too!
10. I fell in love with the color red, black and white. Any dark color.
I’ve been loving the color of red for a long time. I think it’s a daring color and look sexy if it’s a sharp and dark red. Probably I got it from my mom since she loves red too. But somehow I don’t own many red-colored things anymore and my wardrobe all stuffed with a lot of black, white and more dark-colored. Usually, when I buy clothes, my eyes will always put attention to black.
Now, I wear almost all black with rarely bright colors. Since it’s no doubt black or white is an easy outfit to match with anything, I don’t need to bother with what to wear. My friends said I should change them and choose brighter colors. Maybe if I feel like shopping for clothes, I will consider changing them. But for now, I like how it is. After all, my life is hectic enough, I don’t like wasting my time thinking about my outfit.
11. Love is my favorite word.
I love love love love. Since I was little, to see the people who took care of me and provides me many supports, I’m sure it can only be done by love. I’m especially grateful to God for giving me the best mom in my life too. I’m fortunate enough to have this life.
To experience how love develops in my family and friends is a wonderful emotion and to see changes just by love is amazing. Even how much people hate each other, by love, they can reunite. It helps one person to see the bad into good.
Love to ownself is another discovery I found after being caught up in my negative world. After doing more self-love, it frees me from so many burdens. I never knew how important it was to focus on self-love and accept oneself with vulnerability.
Even in every part of our world, love fills the air. When you look right, just by looking at people’s smiles, you know they are in love. Of course, love will either weigh or lift you since the relationship between people is sometimes unconditional. However, for me, love is still the best source of happiness.
See, it’s all about love, love, and love. Love is a big topic, and it’s an endless description but love can magically describe all the goodness in just one word. If you love, you respect.
12. I hope I can be a more grateful person.
I wish I am but I’m just not that person. That’s why this blog is for me to educate myself on life in a written style. Learn to appreciate and see the beauty in the world that God has offers. I was facing many hardships in my life this year, and there are times I had it super tough.
I realize I complained more than I should have. There are times I felt so unfair to face the problem and during that time I wasn’t thinking about the good things that await me. For this reason, day by day I try to learn how to notice the small details of happiness that can bring me to the moon. I’m sure with practice slowly I will get there!
13. I’m not a well-read person yet I enjoy writing.
I wish I was a bookworm and learn more about life from a different perspective of opinions. But I missed the chance. And now to compensate that regret, I aim to read more non-fiction books this year.
I love it when I read a book and caught in an ‘aha’ moment. It triggers my opinions and adds more knowledge to it. I might not read a lot but it’s one of the reasons why I develop the love of writing. I’m sure many of my writing came from the words of wisdom of others with a twist of my own.
Somehow writing makes me vulnerable in many ways. It felt like being naked on the street and open up to others. It’s not easy but it makes me an honest person. I still learn to write better, but so far for two years, I enjoy writing and sometimes I spend my entire day just typing words.
I managed to immerse myself with books last year but it took me a long time to finish one book. So I hope this year will be one step better than before.
14. My dream job was either a pastry chef or photographer.
Right now, I’m working as a music teacher in one of the music school here. As for this year, I will be marking my six years in this industry. When I was twelve, I asked my mom to learn the piano, she approved, so I did. Until I finished my high school, I told my mom I wanted to continue my study to become a pastry chef or photographer.
But since I went through a long way with my music studies, she said it will be a waste to just stop halfway down. In the end, I went to the same college with my brother and study music together for two years.
To be honest, I still have an interest in baking and photography, now and then, I still spend my time watching a documentary about baking and photography too. But, for now, I will continue being a music teacher because it’s still one of the most enjoyable things to do. Maybe I can hobby both baking and photography along with my life next time.
15. I was super flexible like jelly when I was small.
My mom told me I can pull my leg to reach my shoulder, or my aunt can shape me into a ball without any problem. I still have the memories of rolling while holding my feet with my hand. It was unbelievable yet I can do it, at that time.
I remember there was one time the Chinese community came to my hometown and doing a gymnastics show. We went to see them and that time I was so mesmerized by their dance and I told my mom “those kids dance so beautifully!”. The small boy wore a red Chinese traditional cloth and stand with one hand on a pole. His leg was moving so flexibly smooth too.
My mom said if you are well-trained, you can be like them. I know my mom wanted to sign me up for gymnastics class to fulfill my childhood dream before, but since we live in a small town, there’s no one to teach me. So we gave up. Probably if I had the chance, I might be in that industry. I’m not sure, but I’m happy enough to have my life now. Honestly, I wish I can still be flexible now that I’m an adult but nahh, my leg will break if I try to do the split.
16. I don’t smoke or drink alcohol.
One thing that I’m happy not doing is never smoke or enjoy alcohol. Almost all the guys in my family smoke and drink alcohol. Even my dad smokes a lot too, he can even trap any mosquitos in the house with it. But because of that, I don’t like the smell and it suffocates me.
As for alcohol, I never love the taste of it. I tried from wines to beer yet nothing tastes good to me. I’m glad about that though. If not, I’ll probably dance like a monkey after being drunk or talking nonsense for the whole time. It indeed saves me from harsh situations.
17. I believe everything happened for a reason.
I’m a person who always believes there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, sometimes it takes hard work to convince myself, but I still carve them in my heart. Because for me every encounter with people, the things that happened, bad or good everything happened for a reason. My past shape me to be a better human than I used to think I will be. Sadness, misery, and hardship lead me into becoming a stronger person.
Many times I console myself by saying, this happened for me to be aware next time. I can be clumsy and forget about them.
18. If I have no one, God will be my savior.
Growing up in a Christian family, I believe whatever things I have on my plate, under God’s help, I can devour them even with the unbearable taste and still survive. My teenage year was the toughest I had, the bullies and the shame that I needed to endure until the last day of high school. Sometimes I skipped school too and my mom told me to stay home if I’m not ready to face everyone at school. We pray, pray and pray in hope God will hear them and help to eliminate the negative path. It lasted for two years until everything calms and I able to feels stronger stepping into the school again.
That’s why the encounter I had with God is very hard to explain yet so beautiful. Of course, the experiences do include pain, but when I think back to those years, I can’t believe I survived them. I’m thankful to God to provides me enough support from family and friends to look after me even though I almost gave up on many things.
19. I hate, hate, hate horror movies.
I don’t know whether it’s a common thing in the family, but my aunt and uncle used to scare us the kids with ghost stories. The mystery of someone might pull your leg when you run down the stairs, a standing woman under the tree or who sleeps late will be taken by the ghost.
As a result, for a long time, I never dare to go to the washroom alone, not without forcing my mom to look after my door. It’s just something about the toilet at night scared me.
That’s why if I add on those stories with a horror movie, I will have a hard time to sleep at night. I can’t stop thinking about the scenes or imagine someone might stare at me when I turn to my back.
20. It’s easy for me to fall asleep in a cinema.
Now talking about movies, let skip the horror. It was five years ago I realize many times if I went to the cinema I will fall asleep in the middle of the movie and Avengers? I don’t even know their characters apart from Thor, Iron Man, Black Widow, and Captain America. Oh, and that one bad guy Thanos.
I’m sure if you invite me to a movie, 95% I might reject your offer. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I hate the cinema, but apart from eating popcorns, you will see me snooze off from the movie after a while. But going on a date in a cinema with my boyfriend still enjoyable though since I can have a comfy pillow to lean on. So 95% I will accept his offer(Oh yes!).
An extra snippet.
My birthmark with the shape of Africa’s map on my knees gone. It was funny, when I was small, my mom told me I would scrub my knees real hard to remove them. It covered my entire knees but now I don’t have them anymore. Even my mom wonder how it went away. I had no idea. I don’t do anything apart from scrubbing them for a few days with the clothes brush. I’m pretty sure that’s the right way to do it, but my mom told me maybe God heard my prayer and took them away.
There you go! If you read until the end, thank you so much! I know I have a lot to talk about. Maybe a little too much, but I hope you can get to know me better.
Okay, time to get my favorite frozen yogurt!